Resilience. Really?

Breaking down the myth of this buzzword

are we all just dandelions getting through the cracks of life?

“Oh, she is so resilient!”

How do you feel when you hear this comment?

Does that make you feel better knowing someone is resilient, that they have the inner resources this word implies, meaning she does not have to ask for help, because, see, she is so - you know - resilient?

And what if someone is not, if the person is in recovery and barely holding on? Are they not resilient? What are they missing? Does it bring up thoughts that perhaps it’s their own fault? Perhaps they haven’t developed enough skills, enough fortitude, or are weak-willed, and need to figure something out.

But what if this person is in recovery from something terrible?

Is she really not resilient?

Maybe her just being here is the real mark of her resilience.

I wonder about when someone tells you you’re resilient and the response you have.

Do you feel supported - or somehow judged (and maybe relieved)?

Is there some standard that comes to mind - and leaves you fe…