What Makes You Safe

Men, women, and the impact of patriarchy

I’ve dated a few men since my sexual assault a few years ago and I’ve learned I still have healing to do.

So does society, and men who date women.

I say a “few” to stress this is not a large sample. Let’s say I’ve been extremely hesitant when dating since I seemingly threw cautious to the wind when I dated “casually” and somehow ended up with a violent man. But this post is not about taking all the responsibility for what happened to me as it seems people so often want to blame the woman:

Why did she date him?

Why did she act like that?

Why was she dressed like that?

These are still questions posed of women about their assaults, as if the woman’s negligence or “provocative” actions made it happen to her. She must’ve caused it somehow.

Because men are fine.

Society insists on it. Men highlight it so as not to associate themselves with any hint of violenc…